My rules for success

I have come up with my own rules for success/a happy life, which I share here:

1. Make your own rules

You must come up with your own rules that mean something to you, don’t just copy mine or anyone else’s, be true to yourself – there is no right recipe for success, just the one that means something to you.

2. Acknowledge the situation, but don’t let it define you

Yes you are the only woman in your office, yes you didn’t get your training done and now you’re on a marathon start line, yes the last time you tried this it didn’t work – but move on, move forward and get it done.

3. Move

Moving feels good. I’m not saying you have to run miles and miles, just stretching your body first thing in the morning, dancing to a song, waving your arms around, sitting down on the floor rather than a chair, going for a walk all feel good. Look at the joy that children get from running around and jumping about – do you remember that? So move. A lot.

4. Read

People who proudly claim that they haven’t read a book since they finished school scare the hell out of me. Yes, you can learn a lot from watching documentaries on TV or listening to radio 4, but you can get also so much from reading (and it doesn’t have to be books – there are plenty of good blogs and magazines on the internet). Even reading trashy novels (I’m a big fan of John Locke – Goodreads, but I count his novels here!) is just so pleasurable, all those worlds you can just escape to at the drop of a hat, and because you have to work to read rather than passively watching TV, I find you can get more engaged and switch off more easily.

5. Drink water

I do not understand people who don’t drink water.

6. Don’t let the stuff that’s meant to be fun become a chore

I like running, but some days I don’t want to run, so I don’t. I have enough chores and stuff I have to do in life without making something I am supposed to enjoy and do for fun into a chore. Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s supposed to be your hobby, not a stick to hit yourself with.

7. Say thank you

If someone does something for you, thank them. Thank colleagues, thank strangers, bus-drivers, waiters, just say thank you. And, if you can then also send a thank you note (or, if you have to, an email). Didn’t your mum teach you this when you were little?

8. Work HARD. PUSH further. Dig DEEP.

From an earlier blog post – sometimes you do have to work hard to get the results that you want – to study and work full-time, to have a career and run a family.

9. Recuperate – take time to sharpen your axe

Also from an earlier blog post – you can’t go at it 100% 100% of the time and you shouldn’t feel bad for not doing so! Athletes know they can’t be at their peak year round and they plan around it, we should too.

10. Believe in yourself

Also from an earlier blog post – as Henry Ford said:

Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you’re right

You need to have an amount of self-belief before you can achieve anything.

11. Be open to opportunities/ASK

You are very unlikely to have the world handed to you on a plate. You can be content and happy in what you do (or your pace!) and still keep an eye out for opportunities to make progress, develop or broaden your horizons – the two are not mutually exclusive. If there is something you want or are interested in, never be afraid to ask – you may not get it, but it will change how the person you asked perceives you, often in a good way.

12. Be honest or be quiet

Don’t say you agree with something or think something is good if you don’t, just don’t say anything. Remember you can be honest and constructive – praise what was good and give examples were things could be improved or were an improvement on before.

 13. All that matters is you keep at it

I tweeted this quote by Runners World columnist because it rang so true to me, and like the best philosophies, it applies as strongly to running as it does to the rest of life:

Inspired by Karen’s talk at TEDx Aylesbury last month, I decided to make up some rules of my own. I admit I stole the first two from Karen (how’s that for irony?), but they say something about mimicry being the most sincere form of flattery don’t they?


Fun run

After my awful awful last marathon I decided that I needed to approach my next race very differently and actually have some fun and enjoy it, rather than slogging round with a time in mind.

The morning of St Alban’s half marathon arrived (I hadn’t even ran more than 6 miles since early May) and in a first for me – I left my Garmin at home and took of my watch so I would have no idea of the time at all.

I started off steady and having fun and then at about mile 2 or 3 I found a guy who was running his first ever half marathon, he’d only ran 14k before (for those imperial-minded amongst us a half marathon at 13.1 miles is 21.something-I-think-1 k) and was a little worried and hoping to come in under 2:30. I offered to run it with him, we stopped for a brief walk every now and again, I gave him some tips to tackle the uphills (“forget about your legs, just concentrate on pumping your arms backwards”), tonnes of encouragement and we finished in 02:01:58.

And I had a PB of my own – a race I really enjoyed. I had a lovely time both talking to my new friend and feeling like I was helping him. The course was great, very beautiful, spectacular organisation and I loved the mementos, a really nice technical t-shirt with big fun logo (I will snap a pic and add it), a medal and an ice lolly which in my hurry to wolf it down, I managed to stick my tongue to it. Ouch.

But to run without the pressure of a watch, knowing that my time was irrelevant because it was his time – wow, that was freedom!

Will probably do this race again; (maybe I will even race it). The next one is on Sunday June 12th 2016 – there is also a walking half marathon option which I think is a terrific idea and a 5k (which I think I could have got an age category place in as a senior woman – most adults who could run well did the half!).

My review of TEDx Aylesbury

On Saturday 9th May, Aylesbury’s Waterside Theatre (the “Second space” – so the smaller bit used for screenings of live operas and that kind of thing, I hope one day TEDx will be so popular in the area the main theatre can be used!) played host to the first TEDx (x = independently organised, even if it does mean it sounds a bit “sexier”, Roy Bailey!) in the area. The theme for the TEDx was Misfits and Pioneers.

What is TED?

TED is “a platform for ideas worth spreading”. No, I don’t know what it stands for either, but basically incredibly good speakers talk about particular ideas at a conference (TED talks) and these are filmed and shared on the website. Speakers can speak for a maximum of 18 minutes and some very famous people have done them – Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs etc. I intend to make an effort to take a look at the site once a week/fortnight.

How did/Why did I hear about TEDx Aylesbury?

Having seen Garr Reynolds in Oxford (who has himself done some TED talks, though I couldn’t find them on the site when I looked) and blogged about it, I heard about them and searching for ones nearby, found there was one in Aylesbury in May. There was also one in Oxford in January but I elected not to attend that one. It seemed like an obvious idea to go, so I put my name on the mailing list and when tickets went on sale, I signed up. Seeing Shappi Khorsandi (who I have seen on TV and heard on panel games on radio 4) was speaking certainly helped persuade me to attend, but I think I would have gone whoever had been speaking.

What happened?

The format of the day was 2-7:15pm.  There were three sets with speakers and one video from the TED website in each. Speakers were filmed (I will update my blog with links to the videos of the talks when they are put online) and there was Amin, a photographer taking some brilliant shots. There was a half hour break between each set for networking and some activities based around “dead TEDs” (people who are now dead but who we would have loved to have heard a TED talk from). Personally, I wanted to do a bit more networking and the half hours seemed to fly by leaving me very limited time to do so. I should have hung around for a bit after the event and tried to use that opportunity, but circumstances meant I had to leave shortly after the end. I tried to thank all the speakers but did not manage to find/approach all of them in the time and constraints.

Set 1

Karen used slides in her talk which was about staying authentic and that success is authenticity (and she should know, featuring in the Power List and heading up MediaCom, the UK’s largest media agency). She defined her rules for success – but, the first rule she gave us was, “Find your own rules” – which I loved. You can’t just copy someone else’s template for success, you must find what means the most to you. Her second rule (I think I can take two for myself?) was “acknowledge the situation, but don’t let it define you“. I got a lot from that rule
– acknowledge this job is a stretch for you/everyone you work with is a man/you are the least experienced, but then rise above it and carry on. Karen spent a lot of time talking about “covering” – when people act in a way other to how they would like to act, because they think their job/boss/workplace demands it. 61% of people (including 45% of white, heterosexual males) admitted to having “covered” at some point.  The study she references was this one by Deloitte. Some real food for thought here (I admit I cover, but not my personality; I think we all cover in terms of dress sense or we would all turn up at work in our pyjamas surely! (or I would anyway) but Deloitte would probably define this type as justifiable). Very smooth, professional, fluent delivery.

Grace lives with a debilitating illness and consequently, a sense of “otherness” but does not let it define her. She talked about her struggles and her belief that we can all be pioneers, carving out our own ways. Grace is a wellness expert and spoke passionately about her struggles and her beliefs.

Islam recounted how when he first arrived at school and said goodbye to his mother in Arabic, his teacher took him, muttering “no English” and gave him flashcards to study, one with a picture of a butterfly on it. Now he has a PhD in English – as he says, “how insecure am I?”. His talk was on continuing to learn, to be a scholar and to read and that despite our differences, as readers we share a common experience, with no excuse to be prejudist. Islam has spoken at many conferences, works in the Department of English at the University of Birmingham and even advises the BBC on Arabic pronunciations.

The link will take you to view the video too. Tom explains systems thinking by using an example of getting people to explain how they make toast – first with drawings, then with sticky notes and hen collaboratively. More steps (nodes) were needed as the ways progressed (from drawings to sticky, from sticky to collaboratively) and ideas became more “full”. He has a website which helps you take his method of systems thinking and problem solving forward.

Shappi spoke passionately about her struggles growing up; how she felt like an outsider/misfit due to her nationality, chronic shyness and family life (they fled Iran after her father was threatened by the Iranian government) and told us some of her experiences and how this led her to comedy. “If I speak and you laugh, that’s a conversation. It makes me feel alive”. It was her first TED talk, which makes Aylesbury especially privileged!

Set 2

  • Roy Bailey

After the break, we returned to the room to see a man with a tambourine (Mark Block?) and a man with a guitar – Roy Bailey. Roy sang folks songs about socialism and dissent and even had us singing along to Undefeated with the lyrics that you can see in this tweet below.

Leslie’s talk took me back to my roots as I made parallels about NEET young people (Not in Employment, Education or Training). Leslie founded PRACTivate where gang members are encouraged to use their skills in the workplace rather than revert to a gang lifestyle. Leslie’s articulate talk focussed on perceptions and the cycles of poverty and crime. Once released from prison, the perception is that these people will only be capable of low-paid manual labour and so, they turn back to gang culture and crime. Society, the bigger “community” needs to recognise that these people have more worth than we are currently assigning them; we can then draw new value from these dismissed resources. Gang culture has many of the markings of hierarchical legitimate business enterprises – transferable skills.

This was my favourite TED video. The problem with education is that good teachers don’t want to go and work in the places where good teachers are needed the most! Sugata set up experiments (starting back in the 1990s) to see how children could educate themselves by leaving a PC with internet connection, embedded in the wall of an Indian slum. His experiments got more and more sophisticated – changing the accent they spoke English so a computer would understand them and a group of Tamil speaking 12 year olds were able to teach themselves biotechnology *in English!) on their own in two months so they achieved scores of 30% in a test. Two months later, after using the “grandmother method” (someone just being encouraging “that was good, do that again, wow!”), their scores rose to 50%. If children have interest – education happens; but the children must be in groups in order to learn like this. Sugata wants to conduct more experiments and take his findings, computers and granny programmes further.
If you only have time for one TED video, watch this one.

Ian Wright is a Professor of Planetary Science at the Open University. His talk began with he statement that the Earth itself is a misfit! Ian was part of the team getting Philae to land on the Rosetta comet – a ten year project. The tail of a comet may be millions of miles long, but the actual comet that produces the tail is very small, The instrument that Ian and his team put into Philae was called Ptolemy; about the size of a shoebox we saw pictures of the whole lab worth of equipment that Ptolemy was designed to condense. The project hopes to learn much more about comets (this one developed a tail earlier than expected and looked more like a rubber-duck shape than what was expected!).

Set 3

Alex calls himself an “adventurer”. He has pulled a sled across Alaska, ran across America,rowed single-handedly across two oceans and now plans to live on an iceberg as it melts. He spoke about fear and offered up the fact that fear cam be a great motivator – he wouldn’t be the person he was, or have done the things he has done, if it wasn’t for fear. Very inspiring.

Lucie is a doctor and a novelist; she gave one of my favourite talks. Lucie’s talk began as she shared some feedback she had received about a novel she was writing – it was unbelievable because the protagonist had no agency. Things happened to them in the story, but they did not react or take ownership. As readers, we know this is fake and are uncomfortable with it, but as patients modern medicine removes our agency and expects us to passively submit and surrender to doctors’ cures and medicines. Agency is a crucial part of human interaction – healthcare reads like a really bad novel! Illness appears as a random act of violence on a person but if the fact of speaking in public, or thinking about some other thing that makes us feel worried and engages the primitive flight/flight response; if our body is able to react physically to this kind of stimuli; why does medicine not account for this manifestation? Lucie talks about the clear links between illness, disease and stress and how treatments should have as a key component training and help to control our response (and our body’s response) to stress. Lucie’s talk was extremely articulate, peppered with soundbites (“science explains the universe, art experiences it”) and covered a topic she was obviously extremely passionate about.

This video shows the speaker, Derek, using a video of a man dancing like a crazy person to explain leadership. As the man dances, an individual joins him, then a few more, until eventually just about everyone is dancing with him. The principles are to treat your first followers as equals, new followers are really emulating the first follower and not the leader, leadership is overrated and it is your first follower who transforms you from a lone nut into a leader!

David is a poet and a lawyer. He opened his set with his poem “Slow down” – delivered in his lyrical Caribbean accent. He was engaging, wonderful to listen to and a perfect way to round off the speakers.


I really enjoyed the evening, I thought the videos were a good touch as they showed TED in a wider, international context (rather than just a bunch of misfits in Aylesbury!). However, it was sad to see so many empty seats. The organisers did well and I know they were trying to sell returned tickets, even selling some on the day, but it was a bit disheartening to see. Logistically, in terms of sound, microphones, lighting etc – it was all incredibly smooth and professional, very well done.

There was some talk on twitter not as much as I know the organisers would probably have liked, but the lack of decent mobile signal inside the building meant people struggled and batteries were diminished (I know wifi was available but you had to sign up for it). I think there was probably more talk after the event. I joined in a bit, thanking speakers and made a few comments (I also promised to write my own rules for success inspired by Karen – post to come!), and Amin continued to post photographs after the event which was nice.



Forays into crowdfunding

Until recently, I hadn’t done any crowdfunding. I was aware of it, but there was too much other stuff keeping me busy. Then, one evening on the One Show, I heard all about a project called Chicken Town – a not for profit social enterprise designed to help local people in Tottenham by providing a healthier (and tastier) alternative to fried chicken and chips, subsidising lunch time offerings to local children and providing training and employment (paying local living wage) to locals.

It sounded brilliant so after a few google searches, I managed to find it on Kickstarter and made my pledge. The target was £50k and I must admit, I was doubtful at times if they were going to make it or not. The publicity on the One show was brilliant, but, the One show didn’t give any links or a definite “call to action”. I’m sure a lot of people watched and thought “that sounds great”, but as they weren’t given a website link or an emphatic call of “please pledge your support”, they did nothing about it. A bit of a missed opportunity.

Getting closer! If you’ve not yet pledged support for @CHICKENT0WN now is the time!

One of the features of the Kickstarter website is that you can set reminders so you are emailed when a project has 2 days to go – this means a lot of projects will see a rush of donations in those last two days as people are notified and (finally) get their wallets out.

They made it, with 700 backers pledging a total of £55,000 (their goal was £50,000). It was exciting and I followed them closely as the deadline came and I became more nervous that they wouldn’t make it. Phew. I am really excited about Chicken Town and can’t wait to hear about its progress. I shall also be making a detour to Tottenham next time I am in London!

Card games

As I had by now set up a Kickstarter account etc, i thought I would look and see what other stuff there was that I could get involved in. I was interested in physical board/card games, based in the UK (so I wouldn’t get stung on postage and most pledges say “ships to USA only”). I stumbled across this – Lords of War game:

It looked fun, professional (lots of funny videos on how to play the game), they had had previous success and I could get a game for a pledge of £13 as well as any extras that were unlocked, whatever those may be ( there were a lot!). The Kickstarter was to hep them raise money to get a new expansion deck printed, but you didn’t need this to play the game and I decided to do without it this time (maybe if they do a KS for Templar & Undead expansion pack, I will jump in!).

I tweeted about this a lot and there are now a few people I follow because they responded and joined in with me on the tweeting. Kickstarter also has a comments section (that only those who have pledged can post on) which was very busy, giving a real sense of community – and you could also spot people from twitter on there.

The Lords of War staff themselves also gave frequent updates as emails and as tweets for fans to retweet and spread the word:

It was all very exciting and really fun. LoW had set up numerous stretch goals (the funding asked for for the project to go ahead was £8,000) at £9k, £10k, £11k, £12k etc as well as at numbers of backers (250 and 500 – didn’t think we’d get to 500!). As well as providing more bounty for faithful backers (and getting people like me to up their pledges as I realised I was getting free booster cards for sets I didn’t have!), this provided opportunities for them to tweet, get publicity and reinforce the message. LoW also had numerous card game shows and conventions and stuff going on at the same time which of course all helped spread the word.

The campaign ended with £22,845 of the £8k target raised with 559 backers pledging support. Made me feel excited and part of something – which is what Crowdfunding is all about really.  I am now sitting by the postbox, awaiting my cards….


I posted a comment on LoW hoping that they would be doing a through analysis of stats (depending on what they get from Kickstarter) to work out what worked and when the big jumps in pledges came in. Someone posted me to a site called kicktraq which basically shows you stats and pledges over time. A really useful, fun site. So lets have a look.

Lords of War stats
Lords of War: Fantasy Battles -- Kicktraq Mini
They averaged 18 backers and 17 comments a day, with an average £ of £737.
148 people pledged on day 1 and then the next highest jump was 2 days (71) and 1 day (60) before the close (it actually closed at 8:45am on May 10th which is probably why there weren’t many on the 10th itself). I love that it shows you data on comments too.

Chicken Town stats
Chicken Town - Tottenham -- Kicktraq Mini
They averaged 24 backers, 1 comment and £1,855 a day. Nearly £10,000 came in on the penultimate day (April 22nd) – told you it was a bit nerve-wracking at the end there!
Chicken Town appeared on the One Show on April 10th – but this day only saw 14 backers and just over £1000 and the 11th was just 6 and £120. I think the One show definitely could have done more to help.


But what a fantastic adventure for me.

Calling it quits?

After my second worst ever marathon at Milton Keynes last bank holiday Monday, which came out of nowhere (I had done two fantastic 20 mile races in March including one in 2:58:44 pace, so a sub4 marathon should have been possible), I am now wondering if it is time to call time on marathons.

My 8 marathon medals in chronological order

My 8 marathon medals in chronological order

I struggled from about 5, so it was a long long trek to the finish line. I did keep one promise to myself though; I crossed the line smiling thanks to a girl I picked up at mile 15 similarly struggling and we chatted and ran/walked the rest of the way.

Why did it go so wrong? I got overheated and despite tipping water over myself at water stations was unable to cool myself back down (I wonder now if I even had heat stroke). I also got my taper wrong, pretty much giving up with runs of any real length after my successful 20 mile race; 5 weeks out from the marathon – I knew it was a mistake at the time but with Easter, visiting relatives and frankly celebrating a brilliant 20 mile race (which I mentally labelled as my “A” race), it was what I wanted to do at the time.

It sucks though – all that training and a 4:50:48 finish. Interestingly, it seems that there were a lot less finishers than last year (especially females). I also seemed to claw back a few places in the last 6 miles – which is interesting because I was mostly walking then!
Ugh. Still; to get round was an achievement considering how terrible I felt for so many miles. And the medal is lovely, but; I’m not sure I can handle such a long build-up to disappointment again (my 2014 MK marathon was similarly disappointing, going well until mile 18 and then falling apart and coming in at 4:21). My age graded results are always much better for the shorter distances too, which always get neglected in pursuit of a marathon.

Am I calling quits on the marathon?  Watch this space…